Teen Trauma

     A while back a law was enacted that made it easier for white parents to adopt black children. There was a reason for that law. The reason was there were many children of other than the white race that needed homes and families.

Old arguments are coming to light again over this law, saying that white parents cannot give a black child the same experiences that black parents could. They are probably right about that, but if there were enough black parents to adopt black children the law wouldn’t have been enacted in the first place.

     The question comes down to this, is it better for a black child to remain in foster care growing up in many different households, or to be adopted by white parents and have a permanent family and home?

     I’ve no doubt that black parents would be the perfect fit for a black child. I’ve also no doubt that those complaining about the law are mostly black themselves. Maybe instead of complaining about it they should solve the problem by adopting these children themselves instead of criticizing those who actually do.

     This world is far from a perfect place and while this may not be a perfect solution it’s better than no solution at all.

     I saw a news story today that I would like to pass on. They remind all of us parents that prom season is starting and that we need to be concerned about kids driving that night.

I believe they said that more teenagers die from car crashes than any other way. Most of the crashes involve either drunk, drugged, or tired drivers. Next would come distractions while driving such as music changing, eating, reading, and putting on makeup.

We need to make our teens realize that every time they get into a car, they are at some risk and must not only take care, but they must be aware of what is going on in the car and around the car.

My own cousin lost her son due to being a passenger in a car with a driver who had been drinking. It was devastating and unnecessary, and it can happen to anyone, anytime.

     Congratulations to the big man who couldn’t score his pot so he decided to shoot at a mother and the four children she had in her car.

The poor woman had to drive away with her car door open to escape the bullets when she noticed that her four year old son had been shot while sitting in his car seat.  She quickly drove away around the corner to her sisters house to get help.

The child is in critical condition and has a collapsed lung and spinal damage.

It’s just too bad that this animal probably can’t read and certainly wouldn’t know how to use a computer, cause I would like to say a few things to him. I really should understand because I know that men with tiny male parts have to prove their manhood in other ways and of course you vs. a four year old means you are on equal terms intellectually.

I can’t even go on because I would just like to see this piece of dog sh#t put out of our misery.

I hope you’re proud of yourself.

     The last few years teen pregnancies have been lower than in the past, but a report claims that in California at least, the numbers are growing again.

Teens have always had sex but today no one can deny that they are having it at younger ages. Even pre-teens, kids who are still in grammar school are engaging in sexual behavior. Many of these kids believe that they are not having sex as long as they don’t have intercourse. We can thank Bill Clinton for the origin of that belief.

Teens think as I’m sure we all did at that age, that they are immune to sexually transmitted diseases and pregnancy. Even if we tell them otherwise they still don’t believe it will happen to them. They need to be scared of consequences and they’re not. Somehow these things need to be made real to them. Any ideas?

    This argument has been around for a very long time. We have set ages for voting, drinking, smoking, working, and driving. We’ve all lived through those years and couldn’t wait to get old enough to have the full rights of adults.

I still have enough of a kid in me to take the teens side when they ask why it is they are old enough to carry a gun, be sent thousands of miles away to a foreign country where they are ordered to fight and kill, but they are too young to buy a beer.

Don’t get me wrong, I hate drunks and people that can’t handle their liquor, but how can you ask a teen to die for his country and not give him full rights in that country?

I guess the message is that drinking requires more maturity than deciding to kill someone does.

Moreover, we all know that no one over 21 would abuse alcohol or drive drunk.

I’m not advocating lowering the drinking age for all teens. In fact in many cases from my experience, people in their mid twenties are not all that much more mature than those under 18. I do think maybe we want to raise the age for battle, or let them buy a freaking beer.

     Kids at all ages, just like adults, respond better to people who respect them. We all hear “respect has to be earned”, but what I’m talking about is the basic respect that all living things should be given.

When my children were young I had them go to an after school care at their school, and over the course of years, they had different women running the program. There was one in particular who got them to behave when they were out of line and she had their full cooperation and respect. She got that by not yelling orders at them, she got that by talking to them and more importantly listening to them.

I learned the hard way that barking orders doesn’t work. Talk to, not at, and the results may surprise you.

     It’s almost the end of the day so I hope that all you moms have at least had a decent day. I wish that all of you could have a great day, but sometimes the best we can hope for is just quiet, a pause in the chaos. It doesn’t have to last long, just long enough for us to catch our breath and be able to somewhat re-charge.

Those of you with teens, especially teens with issues know that everyday is a roller coaster. Up and down, round and round, and at times you just need the ride to stop. You know the stop is temporary because your ride ticket is never ending. That’s what we signed up for when we made the decision to become Moms.

     So here’s to a quiet evening Moms, make the most of it!

       HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!

     My daughter is pregnant. I’ve known for over a month now but have had some trouble getting used to the idea.

I have been worried about this happening since she was 15, and every year that went by without me becoming a grandmother was a year I was thankful for.

She is 23 now and has come a long way since her wild years, so I am grateful. I have nothing against becoming a grandma, except that it makes me sound old. I just knew that any younger would be a disaster for her and her baby.

There are no doubt plenty of teens who have babies and make good mothers, but they are not ready. Not in our society.

I believe from what I’ve seen of my friends and neighbors over the years that everyone goes through stages in life. Try as you might you cannot skip those stages. For instance, in the case of teen pregnancy I believe that those years which a teen has for being free and social come to a stop when the teen has a baby, and although the teen may settle down for a while, eventually she will, she must break free and go out and party. Only now she is leaving her baby with sitters or family and the child feels the impact. This is not good for a baby to have a mom that would rather go out than stay home.

It’s far better to get it out of your system and then settle down with a child. I’m glad that my daughter had years of freedom and I hope she’s ready to get serious now and settle down. I think she is.

Can anyone think of a younger sounding name than Grandma?

Throw away kids are those teens that find themselves without a home because their